The unseen umbilical cord

Dear Diary,

It has been a good 23 years since I arrived at this planet, thanks to my parents. As the title suggests, this post is about mothers. It’s pretty common to have fights with our mom, especially the mother-daughter relationship. I have put my mom through countless pain (nope, didn’t myself get pregnant or became a school dropout or a drug addict). I am an engineer. Finished my degree and am at a reputable company for the past 1 year. Yet the fights between my mom hasn’t subsided a bit, in fact it became an exponential graph. 

That can pretty much sum up my life. Studied hard to  be at this career. Since i come from an orthodox Asian background, I am surrounded by rules. “Don’t wear sleeveless or short dress, be back before 10pm, no staying over at friends place,no alcohol” and the list continues. But when you enter the working world, you realize there so many other things you want to try out (don’t get me wrong, nothing immoral). It is the age and time for you to make mistakes and learn. Nothing works better than learning from our own mistakes. 

Our moms bear us for 10 months in them and continue for the rest of their lives. Constantly wanting the best for us and being over-protective even though you are a grown up adult. What is the point of building a beautiful ship but keeping it anchored to the shore? , what is the point of feeding a bird but keeping its wing tied up? After a point in life, you must learn to let go. Have some trust in your own upbringing. Let them soar in the sky, it’s okay if they can’t take off well or bump onto a glass window. They will learn and become even better. If theory is all that is needed to bring up your child, the word “hands-on” might as well be abolished right? 

And no mom, we are not defying you. We are just asking you to trust us and let us do things our way from now on. If we feel lost, we will still ask you for opinions before taking calculated risks. We won’t spiral down into a drain but we will cross one gracefully. We might meet a wrong guy and get our heart broken but that will make us treasure the next with our heart and soul. We might be the “weaker sex” but don’t underestimate the power women has in this century. 

The relationship we have with you will treasured till our last breathe and even after that. There won’t be a replacement. Yes we talk back when we get agitated, yes we might not do the dishes immediately and yes we may break some of your many rules. But nonetheless it doesn’t mean we don’t love you. We really do love you, in our own ways.

~ the daughters 

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